Sunday, September 06, 2015

[shrieking] "Someone cover Glasses!"

Who was "Glasses?" Me, I was "Glasses."

Backstory:

Last week the Urban Rec team I was playing for in outdoor soccer was in our first "playoff" match, but only five players for our team showed up.  The rules stipulate for there to be seven players maximum on the pitch (including goalkeeper) so we were at an obvious disadvantage with two less players playing out.  The opposing team fielded seven against us, plus they had three substitute players ready at all times.  Those keeners.

To no surprise, we were outplayed just because of the numbers disadvantage, but we did make them work for the ball so I'm proud of our team for that.  I was slightly annoyed (yet amused) at one of the girls on the opposing team because the way she yelled instruction to her teammates was borderline shameful.  The way she was barking orders at them and telling them to hustle, you would have thought that our game was for some rec-league championship, but no um.... hey listen, you're up 2 -0 and we're just trying to stay afloat and play for fun, good grief.  Her teammates were all very aware of the situation and much more sportsmanlike and non-verbally aggressive (I would have given them 5 Fun Points).

Anyways, I switched with a teammate to play out as I had been playing in net for the most of the game and that's when the girl really got on my nerves and I started to chirp back at her when she was yelling at her team.

"So-and-so, watch Glasses!"

"Glasses is moving up, come on Defense!"

I always try to make mental notes of the names of my opponents (I find it helpful to keep track of who's who so that I can call for a pass from them by name if they're not paying attention), and while running by her, we had this exchange:

"Someone cover Glasses!"

"Emily, my name is Tim! Call me Tim!"

[without skipping a beat] "Someone cover Tim!"

I could hear teammates from both sides and onlookers around the park chuckling.
Mission accomplished; I humanized myself.  At least she hadn't been calling me "Ponytail" or "Asian."

I scored for our team last, but we lost 7 - 3.  Oh well.

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On a related note, I was with some friends and family at the Hamburger $2.85 food cart downtown a few months ago and upon receiving my order (which was near identical to my brother-in-law's), I noticed this on my burger wrapper:


The server drew glasses on my wrapper to differentiate between us! Absolutely HILARIOUS! XD

Oh yeah and last week I finally got new glasses after six years. I can see again!

And here are some soccer related pictures:

Me being a ham with my cousin Nic at the FIFA Women's World Cup (WWC) at some meaningless match with teams that no one can remember (June 8, 2015)
 
FIFA WWC - Nigeria vs USA. June 16, 2015

FIFA WWC - Canada vs Switzerland. June 21, 2015.
Canadian Women's National Team making the rounds thanking supporters.

Voyageur's Cup Final - Vancouver Whitecaps defeating Montreal Impact, August 26, 2015