Thursday, February 24, 2022

Did you know that shampoo bottles have expiry dates on them?

(NOTE: I started this post nearly three years ago and finally finished it today...)

Because they do! So now you know. You're welcome.
How do I know this? Read on, dear friend/lost internet stranger.

Once upon a time (actually it was in 2014), I was working in an office where a coworker's husband was a manager at a drugstore and every year in between summer and fall, he would bring home dozens of products to his family.  I'm guessing it was so that they could sample them and then the hubs could give an honest testimony to customers if they asked him about the product.  Anyways, every year, this woman would bring in the stuff she didn't want or was unable to use to the office to gift to her coworkers so that they could benefit from it.  And they absolutely loved it!  I remember hearing them share fond memories of past years of the things she had brought in for them.  When you work in a drab office (this place was borderline depressing; see pics), even the most trivial and superficial things can liven up your day.  
Try to imagine how much more grey this photo would be if  my monitor was turned off
and my apple, pencil holder, and Chelsea FC scarf were missing.

Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless...

But yes, I too caught the excitement when my supervisor called me from my desk to go to the common area with everyone else because there on the communal table was strewn an assortment of stuff.  
S T U F F. 

High quality toiletries, name brand razors and cartridges, battery operated gadgets and cheap electronics, the odd pack of candy or snacks!  All just sitting there, waiting to be adopted into a new home....hmmm.

We ooooh'd and aaaaah'd over these items as if they were prized archaeological treasures from another era, freshly unearthed, and the first time anyone had seen them in thousands of years, but no.  They were just toiletries. 

The people who worked with the coworker and knew her the best were the first to help themselves, as were the senior employees who could not care less what anyone thought of them.  Me, being the newest employee, the youngest person in the room, and only on a temporary contract, was therefore the most shy out of everyone there, as I quietly observed the others choose their treasures with glee.  The coworker noticed that I wasn't actively partaking in the free-for-all and generously encouraged me to pick what I wanted, which by that time, wasn't very much, and so I ended up with a full size bottle of shampoo.

I have hair!  I bike to work!  I need to take a shower!  Now I have shampoo!  Everything's coming up Milhouse!  Except the weather began to get colder and I biked less and less...  The shampoo bottle sat mostly unused and neglected in my office desk drawer.

...until I moved to a new office that had no shower facilities.  I brought the shampoo home with me only to discover that the expiry date had passed years ago?! What?!  Oh well, I used it anyways and it worked.  My hair was clean and smelled nice.  The End.

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