Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Mind-love struggle, video update, and general stuff

Sooooo……back in school now, although I’m still on holiday mode. Week Two, behind in my readings, falling asleep in class (just BUS 254), waking up and not understanding anything, assignments being assigned….and when put together, it all means that the academic rat race is definitely in full swing. Time for a sigh. Siiiiiiiigh.

Just recently, I’ve had a bunch of battles in my head. I question my actions and thoughts and I claim that I don’t know why, but I do know. For example, I hear some stranger nearby making questionable and inconsiderate comments and I fantasize of beating them for it. I hear veeeery long and loud screeches of tires outside my house at night, as if someone was driving recklessly and I considered that if they get into an accident, that they deserve it. And I know these are all wrong...and wicked things. I think this is a battle of the flesh versus the Spirit, me wanting things to happen that are horrid.

I read a lot of Batman (fascinating guy!) stuff last week, instead of wisdom-filled Scripture. A giant mistake. I guess I idolized him or rather the idea of his vigilante justice. It’s such a struggle. There are many times when I’m using public transit, and all of a sudden a number of young teenagers will come on the bus, maybe aged 15 or 16. They’ll be really loud and yell, swear incessantly and at everything, spit on the bus, pull out cigarettes or even marijuana, and act ignorant of all that’s around them. You know what I’m talking about, those kids who walk down the street with pant sizes too large for them and are about to fall down, and the eyes half closed and nose pointed high in the air as if the own everything. Gaaah. And it’s such a disturbance to see these careless attitudes, when other people are being made uncomfortable as they try to sit quietly and peacefully on the bus. And then it will hit me. The violent, vengeful part of me that wants to discipline and maim the kids for being thoughtless of others around them. Like Batman when he hunts down his criminal victims in a dark alley.

I never do of course. I question, how can I show God’s love in a meaningful way in my actions, as He and other persons I've met have shown to me, or what can I say to them? ...but still they should be reprimanded. And in the end, I do what the rest of the people on the bus do, and pretend they’re not there. The things that come up, when you need to fulfil the second greatest commandment

I had a good talk with Special K. He said that I should focus on learning to show more love to my family (instead of hurting the one’s I love the most) FIRST, and not my “neighbours.” After, showing love to those who are around me would be easier. That’s the gist of it and it makes sense. I’ve just got to do that now.

I updated the random junk place that streams it (if you’ve never gone fishing before, you probably won’t care/understand, sorry).

For the sake of keeping note, gas was 93.9¢/litre yesterday, after being around the 96-97.9 range for the past week or so. It went down to 90.9 very briefly a few days ago too.

Something interesting to check out (specifically, the "Blog" part of the site), this Alex guy got over 1 million US dollars. Pretty amazing, and is that all non-taxable? Many people have said it before, and I’ll agree, it was a genius idea (though not too genius letting the whole world you now have more than 1 million cha-chings).

Lastly, if you’re a random websurfer who’s looking for Jim Guthrie's "Hands in My Pocket" song, it’s being streamed here.


Anonymous said...

Hey! Thanks for the song man, fellow SFU student here. Found your site with all of the rest of the googlers. I really love that snow octopus, I don't think I ever saw it. XD Thanks again!

steph said...

hey hey timmy ho's!! =D how's it goin'.. =p hope your semester has started off great! how's Cru going at SFU? UBC just had an evangelism week and did a "Does God Exist?" vote.. it was really great, hearing from students on campus and the such.

anyway, i love your post about interacting with the Native lady in Calgary.. that's SO AWESOME, so glad you were able to have that experience. Sometimes it feels weird and even seems like a lost cause, but God is at work. My partner and I also had a few gerat convos with homeless/street people during the day of evangelism. We ended up talking to two homeless-down-and-out guys, Morris and Derek, for over an hour. We brought them into the Eaton Centre, bought them some dinner and had a very cool conversation. Talked about life, struggles, addictions, Jesus, hope..

The homeless situation in Vancouver is so prominant. There's so many out there, but if people actually stop to talk to them for a bit, and even hear their life stories, show love in tangible ways, it sure does increase our (at least mine!) faith. But anyway, more stories for another time..

hope you're doing good, you should come back to Xanga! ha!

steph =D